In-VEST-ing in Lies

David Blaine wannabes, start taking notes. How can you hide so much up your sleeve without even having sleeves?

Jim Tressel will undoubtedly have to show us all his cards in the very near future. The 2^nd winningest coach in Buckeye history ‘resigned’ as the head coach today, but only leaves the program with a huge black-eye, a single National Championship and more baggage than Tiger Woods in a confessional.

And sadly, but most obviously, this isn’t the sort of thing the NCAA or college football needs right now.

One of the largest and most historic athletic institutions in the country was blatantly lying about simple infractions with major players. This isn’t a ‘Nobody is above the law’ scenario. It IS a University of Phoenix doctor saying ‘I think there may be a problem here’.

And it just makes me feel bad for the guy that got this thing all publicized, Terrelle Pryor. Now you’re the goat for ALL of Ohio if the team loses in the first four, whoops FIVE, games (when he’s suspended), AND then if they lose when you come back.

[Can you imagine if they lose to Michigan, Big Blue?] An NFL lockout sounds pretty good right about now.

But the ol ball coach and the rest of Buckeye Nation won’t be out in the cold. Tressel will most likely get a gig analyzing from the booth and the team will continue to produce perennial winners on the gridiron.

Plus he’s got enough sweaters to go around.

Indy Turmoil

I like to think of myself as an 'even-keeled' and 'objective' 'true' sports fan. (When I have to contextualize who I am and what I stand for in the very first sentence of a blog it usually means I'm really in a bind in my mind.)

And I don't think I've been this wound up since CU lost to Kansas in football when the Jayhawks scored 35 points in the fourth quarter to come from behind and win. (It was a Saturday night, and I was so stir-crazy that I had to go make myself run at the gym at midnight. I was a complete mess.)

So if you missed watching the ending of the Indianapolis 500 LIVE today you got some catching up to do....

Rookie JR Hildebrand had a comfortable lead as he got the white flag (one lap to go ma), and it the checkered was all his. With one turn, A SINGLE LEFT TURN remaining between him and infamy he crashed into the outside wall and slid into second place.

I'm still in shock. This is Shoeless Joe Jackson coming out of the Cornfield in real life; it's straight out of a movie scene.

- To sports fans the Brickyard is hallowed ground. Some 3.2 million bricks once covered the most famous auto racing venue, and the Indianapolis 500 is the biggest race at the most infamous oval.
- As it happens, the most famous race is also celebrating its 100th anniversary.
- JR Hildebrand is a rookie, and an American.
- The #4 car Hildebrand drives is sponsored by the National Guard. This coming on the eve of Memorial Day when we remember all those that have sacrificed their lives to protect our right to enjoy such luxuries.

And people will brush this off as another car crash at a big race, they already have.

But I can’t help but think what could have been. JR Hildebrand is a American rookie… with 1 turn left… was about to win the biggest race… on it at the most illustrious track… on it’s 100^th Anniversary… in a sponsored car that represents American prowess… on the day before Memorial Day… but then crashes and comes in second…. And I can’t help but feel absolutely terrible for the guy.

Talk about surreal-anti-story-book ending.

Sports Spectacular-RED CARPET

Playing FROGGER on the LAX tarmac didn’t seem like the best start to a trip. But, boy was I wrong.

Here’s the long version….

Shanon and I entered a video into a contest for Sports Spectacular online.
We asked each of the four 2011 Honorees; Landon Donovan, Blake Griffin,
Lindsey Vonn and Troy Polomalu a singular question about something that
intrigued us in their lives.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/SportsSpectacular/posts/211863018845907

And through some luck… we won.

So Saturday morning we got on the plane and a lot like the LA skyline, the
rest gets a little hazy. But also very sunny.

To say they hooked us up with amenities would be like saying that
Cedar-Sinai is just another hospital, a huge understatement. They put us
in an amazing hotel, on the 18th floor, lookingwest toward the ocean that’s
just miles away.
(Somebody pinch me, and please do it hard.)

The next day is when the fun really began, like getting a pass and
skipping the first 26 miles of a marathon. In the morning we saw Summer
Sanders in the lobby. I got convinced NOT to challenge her in a race in the
pool, much to my dismay. But that moment was a little precursor for what
was to come. Later that evening we met up with our camera-man and
producer who were helping us with the RED Carpet event. They were
veterans of the business, were keycontributors of the late ‘Best Damn
Sports Show Period’ and were great and professional.

And then the stars started filing in. We scoped athletes and
celebrities coming down the line and Shanon chatted them up. In
under 2 hours we got to see Landon Donovan (“The Colorado Rapids
won the MLS Cup, do you think you’ll ever beat them again?”),
Lindsey Vonn (“How do I move up from the greens on the slopes to
the blues?”), Blake Griffin, Troy Polomalu, John Salley, Marcellus
Wiley, Michael Strahan, Ron Artest, Ms. America,Jim Everett,
Leeann Tweeden and a bunch more.

(I haven’t touched on this enough, but the event raised over $20
million dollars for the genetic research at Cedar Sinai. This
research is invaluable and can be great that this event can pull so
many people from so many great fields together togenerate more
than just money, support for a great cause.)

We got to hang around with some of the coolest and most selfless
people in the industry.

The next day we went to the Santa Monica beach, the sun was
high in the sky and as the tide of the freezing Pacific Ocean
washed over my toes I tried to comprehend how truly privileged
we were to experience such a wonderful trip. I simply couldn’t. 

ALL Locked Out

Like a long game of Monopoly, and not all that dissimilar, the NFL Lockout session is going to continue long after 3 in the AM.

Go to Jail…

The players and owners are trying to slice and dice up the profit so that they are making the most they can without seeming like they are the greediest eater at the NFL television contract buffet. And they remain stuck in this grind until one side budges or, more realistically, they come to the not so obvious conclusion that they need each other to survive and sign a CBA (Collective Bargaining Agreement) that doesn’t give either side what they wanted.

Do Not Pass Go…

But that does not seem like it is going to happen anytime soon. The owners just won their ‘permanent stay’ in the 8^th Appellate Court and negotiations and mediations won’t pick up again until later in summer.

Do Not Collect $200….

This is what might end up breaking the steal chain that is metaphorically set around the entrance to NFL Stadiums around the country like the scene of a cheesey movie. The overall gluttony of the athletes and their employers may not keep the league from the $9 billion dollars of television contracts. (This doesn’t include ticket sales, or product and concession money that will undoubtedly be made.)

So get the board games ready, Sundays are now all clear this fall and winter. They’ll just be hoping for doubles.... which probably won't be coming anytime in 2011.

No Way Jose

The NHL Playoffs are unlike any other postseason out there. You don’t have to be the best and most talented team to win games; the Washington Capitals continue to prove that year after year.

What it takes to win in these 7-game-series is to out-physical/intimidate your opponent, have a steady goaltender and DON’T let me root or even watch your team. No matter what you do, do NOT sit me down in front of your television and let me root for your team. JUST DON’T.

In Game 5 of the Red Wings-Sharks series something bizarre happened. (I can’t make this sort of stuff up.)

So I was watching the game, I usually don’t watch the NHL games because I’ve had my share of bad-hockey-viewing this year with the Smavalanche. But I turned this one on at about 7:15PM on the night of May the 8^th. The game was in the Shark Tank in San Jose and the Sharks were in complete control. They had a comfortable 2-0 lead in second period so I decided to let my good friend, and sometimes smack-talking comrade, that I was watching the game and liking the chances of his team, the Sharks, over the Red Wings (I was a little biased already, but this is beside the point of the story)

7:36 PM …. ANDY… ‘The Sharks are looking so good right now… I can’t believe I’m kinda rooting for them’

7:36 PM ….. Red Wings GOAL. 2-1

7:36 PM …. ANDY… ‘I’m gonna shut up now’

Okay, that was a fluke. Within 30 seconds of me sending the text Detroit managed to pull the game back in their favor, pure coincidence.

But wait, I flipped channels as they went to intermission and turned the game back on and in the matter of minutes had missed two goals. Now the game was 3-2, and again the Sharks looked to be in control… and only needed to stop the inevitable surge by the Red Wings midway through this final period.

8:05 PM …. ANDY… ‘Just cant give up another easy one’

8:05 PM …. Red Wings GOAL. 3-3

8:05 PM …. ANDY… ‘What did I say’

8:06 PM …. MATT… ‘Your texts have bad timing’

The Red Wings went on to score another goal in that 3^rd period and win the game by the score of 4-3. Surviving to play another day. Oops.

Dodger Blues

This sounds more like a Rodney Dangerfield ruse than a team.

If only they had sold more reggae Manny hats they would be in the black.

I can see the new California commercial now…. With Kobe saying, “We’ve got a spring in our step [Dunks basketball]”, then the Dodgers GM says, “Our checks bounce too.”

I could go at this all day long, but I’ll attempt to refrain.

I’m nowhere near LA, but this storied franchise is a wreck. From Ebbets Field where they and the New York Giants played some of the best baseball of all time, to signing the most influential man to ever play the game in Jackie Robinson the Dodgers are true Blue.

But there is one plus that seems to be hidden in the mess of the Los Angeles fog, it’s Andre Ethier. He has a hit in every game but one. (And it was on April Fool’s Day, so does it really count. Probably a reversal of Mr.3000 (great movie by the way) where they forgot to score it a hit.) There have only been 2 hitting streaks of more than 30 games in the last decade.

Chavez Ravine keeps hoping people with ‘Think BLUE’. And Andre Ethier will be sitting ‘Dead RED’. So ‘Take Me Out To The Ballgame’ may be replaced by ‘PURPLE Rain’.

It could happen…. Flash the logo, the Terminator comes underneath, ‘Only in Calefornea’.

Draft Status

The NFL Draft was the single-most overblown day in all of sports. Only a reception in which Kate and William doing the Macarena is caught on a cell-phone camera can hold a candle to it.
Okay, so not this bad. But I was pulling my hair out a little Thursday.

Trent Dilfer and Ron Jaworski go back and forth saying they've "watched every play under center for _______ quarterback" revealing nothing along the way. Byron Leftwich took longer than Mark Fidrych to wind up and through a pitch, was the 7th overall pick in 2003, led Jacksonville to a 12-4 season and the playoffs, and then fell of the map faster than Matthew McConaughey's Oscar bid in the movie about his alma mater (no movie could compare to the real thing).

[Start googling.]

So other than the fact that outside the first 1 1/2 rounds are a crap-shoot. The 3 day, 50 plus hour coverage is really worht re-watching. (Call me, I got it all DVRed)

And now that we've got that all cleared up, the Denver Broncos had to have a great draft to survive this year. If they picked well they would be looking at starting something like 7 rookies by the end of 2012. (If they even have a season this year, which as a doctor, I'm saying is day-to-day right now but looking more and more doubtful.)

Von Miller will be good, but I wanted Marcel Dareus more. He fits the hole, a huge hole at that. I think Patrick Peterson could be a superstar in this league, he's 20 years old. But I'm, by no means, upset with the pick.

This draft was weak anyways. There was not a single top 10 pick that I could say, with utmost confidence, was most definitely going to make an impact this year. It wasn't frontloaded but it could be very well be deep. There were some guys coming off the board in the late first, early second round that were mighty good college players and I have a feeling will make it work at the next level. The Broncos two safeties, Rahim Moore and Quinton Carter are well bred at the college level and are my two favorite picks thus far.

And another thing, these once student-athletes are not 'players', they are 'prospects'. So Broncos Draft grade.... we'll cee.... C+