Expect Riots

The NBA and NFL are in sports jail. 

The neighborhood sports bars are putting up particle board to cover the windows. Coors Light is running ‘Sports are for Pansys” commercials. Nike is entering the board game industry. And David Stern and Roger Goodell were seen writing a dramatic romantic comedy screen play at Starbucks.

Expect riots.

People live for sports. They don’t play fantasy football to stimulate their brains. They don’t crop their best friend out of their wedding photos just because he wouldn’t trade Lamar Odom for JJ Redick and beer at next weekend’s BBQ. They don’t go to the YMCA and ride the elliptical to look cool. They don’t buy the same pare of Adidas sneakers to go with their tube socks. They don’t watch football on Sundays or basketball in March to get together with their pals. They most definitely don’t yell at their spouses to ‘Keep it down!’ during the most crucial of moments because they love the game more than them. 

Expect riots!!!

They do it because one day they may get THAT call from Jerry Jones or Jerry Bus asking them to be the interim general manager, backup point guard or assistant to the head coach. And IF, nay, WHEN, they get that call, they better be ready to go. 

EXPECT RIOTS!!!!!!

Lockout the Heat

Didn’t you just feel the love when the Heat lost in Game 6 of the NBA Finals?

Like a warm plate of old sardines Lebron was getting the royal ‘We told you so’ treatment from the people that are supposed to be objective. That wasn’t even close to what people were saying everywhere else. Church confessionals should look more like a Frozen Yorgurt queue after what people said.

The Mavs played the best series of their lives. They were playing the best NBA (see how I contextualized that) basketball since the Bulls in late 1990’s. They were the YMCA lowering the rims to 8 ½ feet good. And they still should have lost.

So when all the NBA fans come down from that Mark Cuban high they’ll realize that there is no stopping the Miami Heat . Or is there?

Superman has one kyrtonite, Matt has one nemesis; peas. The only way to stop them from reign supreme in the NBA is to lock the doors. Don’t even let them in the building. In essence, pro-long the lock-out.

People would rather not watch than boo their Lebron-hate (very specific rage for #6) invested hearts out.

So lock the doors. Keep the lights out. That’s the only way to keep the Heat down.

[But don’t you sleep on David Stern. He knows how much HATE is worth. He knows he could buy a new island if he makes this bargaining agreement work. He knows that Lebron can pay for his kids to go to college, and then some.

Let the battle of attrition begin.  ]